Life's Little Lesson : #1

I thought that at this point we will get to the first lesson I learnt from life ;
There is no "THERE" it is just another "HERE" .

Often you find yourself saying "Things are better there " , "I wish I was there " , "Lucky him , he is there " , "They have a lot of fun there " ... Stop .You are going crazy .
Think !! What is "THERE" ? It is just another "HERE" , the difference is your motivation and the subsequent translation of the motivation into action and the final frutition of the actions bearing consequences .For example , take a small problem : You drive to work daily , the road is bumpy , what do you do ?
There are two options :

1. You complain and change to a place with good roads (THERE)
2. You somehow get over the problem (HERE )

Remember , if you took option #1 , then here is the writing on the wall : Good roads go bad with time !! What do you do then ? Move again ? Think about it .

I am an exponent of the line of thought that says , if you can't fix anything here , you can't fix it anywhere .
What do I mean ?
Here is an explanation : "There" is no better than "here," When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks better than "here."

You will see that it you that is changing and not the place .
Still confused ? Write to me and we will discuss

What next ?

Excuse this short post : I am stuck in something critical .
Will post in detail later

~Shakthi

Happiness Unlimited

The days that followed were the days of true happiness .Days full of the joy of companionship and giving and spending time together.I discovered that everyone is made in pairs and it is just a matter of time before you find your mate .Luckily I did it soon and it was good that I did .

I still remember vividly , every one of the restaurants that I went to with her .
Every one of the pleasant outings we had .
Every one of the sweet chats we had .
Every one of the sweeter fights (:)) we had .
Every minute we spent together .

I shud admit , I never thought that me of all people wud be having the fortune of experiencing what is popularly called a love-life .I was too wound up being me till then .But then this phase was the time when I discovered the real me .

I started thining seriously about life and settling down and most importantly finances .
Hema made me think of a career as something to get to where we want to , and to this day , the right choices I made back then have helped me a lot in getting where I am .

Before this gets windy : See you in the next post !

The Moment arrives ...

Like i said in my previous post : Fate had other ideas .We kept meeting daily and discovered that there were a lot of things in common that we shared like the sun sign , the blood group , the love for music and so on .After a month or so , we transitioned from friends to very good friends .She used to visit my home often , my family knew her and i knew all her friends et al .A few more months of this and I had a thought : "Wont it be nice if we cud spend the rest of our lives together ?" but I kept quiet for most part about that because I wanted to have a job and all that before I even thought of settling down .
She on the other hand was smarter than me and had a fair idea of what was on my mind .In fact , there was one day when she made me reveal my feelings for her.We were at a computer center , It was an NIIT Computerdrome , one of those places where there was a huge array of computers and you cud book time and go and work on them .It was also my first brush with Windows (3.11 those days ) .You needed a floppy to get the win: running those days .I remember the gzillion times I fumbled with it and made a fool of myself and then turned and told her "I love you and want to marry you !" .She smiled a knowing smile and said "I know , me too " .Imagine my joy !! I felt like Bill Gates in Microsoft : absolutely on top !
We then decided that the computer place wasnt appropriate for the rest of the occasion and went to watch a movie , it was "Baby's day out " .It was indeed my day out !!

More in the next post !!

What do u do ?

When you are old enuf to realise that you need a companion in life and that it is not gonna be that easy finding one ? Well , nothing much you can do there , right ?

In my case , it was in a very unexpected way the life gave me my first valuable gift ; my wife !
Let me describe the day in vivid detail as I remember it even now (it has been around 12 years or more ).I ws walking into a computer institute where I was enrolled to study SYBASE/Powerbuilder/VB , the killer combination of those days .India was and is a paper oriented country , so there was a lot of paperwork involved in enrolling into the class those days .I was with my classmates from college who had also joined the same course .We were a bunch of high decibel loudmouths converting the reception area into a college corridor .I was particularly being loud and funny as I thought that was the only way I cud get girls to look at me !! :) After a while of being boisterous and funny , We settled down and started the paperwork .At that time , I noticed that there were two girls sitting right opposite to me .One was dressed traditionally and was a bit round .She was also very particularly looking haughty .The other girl was wearing what is known in India as MIDI or more popular as a mini skirt .She had a wonderful smile on her face .She had long hair , which was not the trend those days .She looked like the origin of energy in the universe .The moment I saw her , there was something in me that flashed , something that momentarily overwhelmed me , but then the civilized me overlooked it and I told myself "Let me say Hi !" .and I did .
She politely returned my Hi and we started speaking .Her name was Hema .At that time of my life I was not exactly very proud of my college , so I told here I was from a very posh one .Then we chatted for about 5 mins .Then I went out with my friends for a 5 min break and got back , She was gone ! Ugh , she was in a different class and I was in another .At that time , I just told myself "Arrey chod yaar ,if it is destined , it will happen " .And started concentrating on the only girl in my class :)

But like they say , Fate had different plans !!
I will tell you more in tommorow's post .
Hang on till then .

~S

Then the awakening ...

Even after I had chosen computers and software as the line of work that I wanted to be in :some part of me smiling as often as I shud and always worried about what lurks next in the maze of life.Then one day , an incident changed my outlook to life drastically.

I used to go to parks with my brothers whenever possible , it was one of those days .I was sitting by a park bench and watching them play cricket (the usual grind ).After sometime I felt a hand touching mine , I looked up and saw a small child , a boy standing in front of me .He said "Hey , what a wonderful flower ! This is for you .snt it smelling sweet and wonderful?".I looked at that flower .It was a usual flower and kind of damaged , it was neither fresh , nor smelling good .I felt like the kid was tryin to play a joke on me , I wanted to give him a piece of my mind .So I looked at him , then I realised something , the kid was blind , he could not see .He was relying on his sense of hearing and smell to live in this world .And despite his predicament , here he was trying to spread cheer to everyone around him , so what if he could not see ? He had more sight that me ! I thanked him and accepted the flower .He was happy , he went and took another flower before going to the next person's life that he would touch that day .

That kicked off a change in me , a change for the better .Gone was the glum Shakthi , enter the new improved , cheerful and confident Shakthi.I also took it upon myself to drop my introvert self and create an extroverted one .On that day in my Seventh standard at school I started to change.And believe me , that change has stayed with me and helped me weather all the typhoons that life has thrown at me so far .I never met that kid again , sometimes I wonder , where is he now ? what is he doing ? My mind somewhere in a corner tells me , I will meet him one day .

In the next post we will talk about the single most important stabilizing factor in my life -- my wife !

Bye for now

More of value

After starting school , I was introduced to the harsh realities of being physically challenged .There are many things that a boy'smind wants to do , but my body was not able to.And mind you these are things like running along a bridge , climbing up and down stairs , running home fast from school , playing games with friends .These are by no means "asking for too much " kind of things .After the initial years of painfully , yet inevitably realising my shortcomings , I learnt to live with and within them .Believe me it is tough to get by with a challenge like mine , when you want to be an engineer .The whole system either ridicules or sympathizes with you .Both are useless emotions .Then I learnt the fine art of selk respect and self upgradation .I sat down and decided that software and computers were the things that were going to make sense as a line of work for me .After I decided that , things pretty much fell in place and slowly yet steadily , I got to where I am today , a satisfied and very happy person !!

I intend to stay that way for the rest of my life .

I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things it prevents me from doing, which are not that many.

The learning continues

That was not the end of my woes .With my fully supportive family and their faith in me , I was all set to take on the world and prove a few points to it .It was time for school and there started a whole bunch of new lessons .
Being the only challenged boy in the class meant that there were no daily prayer sessions for me .There were no games periods and I was not in any activity other than studying .Doesnt that sound boring ? I assure you , it is .Infact it is boring to the point where I start " அட பொடா இது என்ன உலகம் " .Pardon my digression in vernacular , but that is what kids do , think in their mother tongue .

And what did I do about it ?

More in the next ...

An early start to learning

It was the late 70s , I was still a kid who growing up back then .There was a big turning point in my life , I was hit by a bout of some unknown affliction .I had a fever running for a couple of weeks and was subsequently out of consciousness .My Parents belonged to the lower middle class (the biggest class in India till date ! ) .They rushed me to a hospital and the doctor there promptly examined me and pronounced his verdict , DOA , meaning -> Dead On arrival .They moved me to the morgue while my parents had to fulfill a few formalities to claim the corpse (me !) .After a couple of hours there , I regained consciousness.Imagine the harshness of the situation , luckily it did not last for more than a couple of ten minutes .My parents claimed the body and it was alive .Then the next doctor's turn , He pronounced the next verdict ... "This kid is brain dead , abandon him and have another one !!".My Mom then put her leg down and said , " this is my first born and he stays with me , com what may " .Then I was taken back home and my childhood started !!

More in the next post