"Forever" - What a thought !

There are things that fascinate me from childhood . "Forever" is one of them . The very concept of forever is very intriguing . When did time start and when will it end ? What a fantastic thought ! Truly needs a fertile mind to think it up and make sense out of it . Come to think of it , something or someone that will be there forever !! Wowee!!

With that thought ; I started thinking , if forever was true , what would I want forever ? Then there would be a list of things there , some that I am used to and many that I want to be used to . So here goes my forever list .

Things I want forever :

1. Hari
2. Hema
3. All my relatives
4. Sus
5. My Sense of Humor
6. Rajesh and Sampath
   

Now down to the why part of this list . Let us take them one by one .

Hari is the center of my universe and If I am to be ; he has to be otherwise I am not . That is the best way to put it
Hema is me and together we are WE , the very essence of me
My relatives are the completely total support system I have and they are necessary for everything
Sus , you must be surprised to find you here in this list ; well frankly so am I , never before has someone become so important , valuable and totally reliable for me ever in my insignificant life so far . I alone know the number of times that you have supported me when I was down and out and there are no words to describe that ; even my family knows that very well . so I figure if there is a forever , our friendship deserves it ! What say ?

My Sense of humor is the only thing that is between where I am today and what I would have been otherwise ; so i want to keep it forever too

Rajesh and Sampath : Two of my best friends who will do anything for me and I will do anything for them ; they are the pillars of my thoughts , plans and everything . They kinda complete my world . They are like little brothers who are growing up and growing up Fast . I want to have them also with me forever .

That's all , not a very long forever list na ?
See you soon !!

Managing the future

As it turns out , this is very very tough ; future is something that people rarely think of , leave alone plan for .Even if they do plan , most of the times the plan and the happenings never coincide . So when it comes to managing the future of a bunch of young people , wow !! whattefun !!

First up , they have no idea what they are doing and how it gells with the team and the industry .Next is that they have a bunch of totally misguided peers to give them solid misdirection , the last but not the least is their adamant refusal to climb out of the shells that they call their comfort zones . Well if Edison and Galileo and Newton stuck to doing what they are comfortable with , you can guess what would have happened .

Forget comparisons to greatness ; come down to the earth .These energetic young guys look like China clay and you start believing that they can be moulded into professionals and then you start only to realise that they are porcelain , tough to reshape once shaped . You hurt your own hands and fingers after that . Then they come and ask you not "Are you hurt ?" but "Why did you even try , aint it my life ?"

Well my dear youg friends that is the point ; it is your life and you get precisely only one shot at it , and when people hardened by life tell you things , it is not just because they like hearing their own voice

Have a great life ahead !!

My Team ??

There are things that are close to your heart . There are things that you build from scratch and feel proud about . There are things that you hold very dear to yourself . My dear reader , in my case one of the things that I hold very close to my heart is my team . I always treat them and think of them as my family , but then in all this thought lines I forgot about what they think about me ; Guess what ? I found out the hard way . In a pressure situation ; they chose someone else over me .

Not that I am anybody to dictate their choices ; but just that the effort I put in into this team is so close to my heart that even me; the hardened pro ; could not take it . But I guess that is where life teaches lessons ; the boy in the park ; my financial scene ; my health ; my mobility and now my team are all lessons in life for me .

Where did I go wrong ? I am sure that it is me who is at fault again with my royal expectations from the people that I regard as close to me . Where was the issue ? I remember the good old days when there were just 4 of us and we worked and played absolutely hard .I felt like I had another family back then .We used to look forward to Fridays and have a blast .

Even if the scene at home went bad ; the guys were there like solid rock and supported me to the hilt . What went wrong ? I gave them things that they can only dream ofand I even made them comfy with the top brass ;

Looks like their false sense of companionship and team are getting in the way of their judgement and screwing the ability to see things clearly . Am I getting restless unecessarily ? Am i loosing it ? Is my team pissed with me ?? Where do I stand now ? I am lost and need help urgently , I am thinking ; "Is this time to change things or the place ??"

Help me out here

jeene ke liye socha hi nahin, dard sambhalane honge

jeene ke liye socha hi na tha, dard sambhalane honge

muskuraoon to, muskurane ke karz utaarne honge

muskuraoon kabhi to lagata hai

jaise hontonn pe karz rakhaa hai

What a song !!

Describes my predicament to the dot . When I was growing up , I thought I would be up against odds , but not this many and of this magnitude .It is now standing at a point where I am scared to be happy , coz the price for happiness is too high . Simple things , take a walk , play with my kid , walk with my wife , laugh out aloud , these are proving to be too costly and rare now-a-days . Is it me ? Is this what life is ? Well this is not what I thought it would be . Hope that it will et better soon

(FINGERS CROSSED )

Back after a long while ...

Hello Friends , I am back after a long time .Frankly , there are three things that kept me away from blogging daily - I , Me and Shakthi . I really would not want to blame anything /person other than me for this long absence . Let us just say that I was caught up in the grind and right next to the stone =) There were issues that needed solutions and there were issues without solutions . For most part I was lost balancing work and life . I almost got lost in the commotion to the point that no one could hear me screaming out for peace (including my own self) . But now things are standing at a stage where if I dont find it , I will pretty soon self destruct into a million pieces and no one will even remember that I was here . Yes the scene is that bad . Let me express that thought in detail below

There are two things that are bugging me , I am at a stage at work where if I miss a Sunday , pple ask me why and if I get to work on a saturdady at 11:00 am , I am late !! There you go , you think I am making it up , but really my dear reader , that is true as will my 400 other colleagues vouch . I guess the cost of greatness is immeasurable if you try to sit down and measure it . I guess that is why we never know much about the personal lives of Gary Sobers , Sachin Tendulkar , Rahul Dravid et al , do they have one ? are they happy ? Well answers might differ and be outside the scope of this blog , but one thing I have learnt is There is work till you die and hence you dont die for work . I know that I sound like a pessimist , I assure you that I am not . Just battle bruised beyond repair and not ready for the next one that is just around the corner inevitable lurking to hit me when I am not looking .

Coming to the more familiar turf of my personal life , I have succeeded in pissing off every single family member that I care about and putting them under pressure to make things work . I am sorry about that , it is beyond my control now . I am going MAD . Running a family is easy only when you have sane elders around you . If you have pple whose minds are going like a yo-yo then you are finished buried and forgotten . I respectfully ask my spiteful elders to spare me the painful daily life I am having now and help me to live like a man . Please guys , let me live . I dont want to go bonkers yet . I have only my wife and son for support now . Without them , I will definitely be writing this from a mental asylum .

Why do elders forget their life when it comes to the way they treat us ; why are things not clear to them when they hurt us bad for silly things ? Is this why you brought me up ? Well thanks !! You did a swell job , just that I am crying in pain daily . Wake up before I change and I dont wanna change now

Oh and before I forget , Hello Biju , how was the buttermilk break ? good ?

Man ! My kingdom for a few moments of peace in life !!!

Spl thanks to Cucumber , Monty , Bond , Potter , Mickey , Daft Punk , Neha and Nishita , they are the people who are helping me to not go mad now

Thanks guys !!


Dear Reader , I promise my next post will be positive , stay with me on this one

Getting back with a few changes ...

Hi , I am back after a while .I am planning a few changes in the way I am posting here .I will continue to post the events in my life regularly , alongwith that I will introduce you to all the important people in my life by name and the effect that they had and still have on my life .

That way when you read the events you will be able to relate to them much better and understand the standpoint that I am taking .

Hope this makes my blog more interesting to read ....