Learning to say no

Today , I feel like writing about the most important thing that needs to be learnt.The fine art of saying "No".Sometimes it is easy , sometimes it aint , the problem is that it is easy to say no to things or people that you dont like , when it is the otherway round , it is kinda tuf .You see , life is full of scenarios where you have to refuse things that you like.That is a true test of the ability in objectivity .

A lot of people just don't like the idea of having to tell people they can't do something. Or they feel obligated when a colleague asks a favour; or feel pressurised when someone senior to them needs something done.

There are even some work places where saying no is definitely frowned upon; and in, say, the police force, could be a sackable or disciplinary offence.

After having worked for some time with people where saying no either feels impossible or just isn't allowed, we created a body of work to address it. In some cases it is indeed, how to say no without ever saying the word.

Of course, there are times when saying the 'n' word is a necessity. But in our experience, there is so much anxiety around the possible consequences of using it, that people don't say anything at all, or agree to things they'd rather not, or get landed with work that isn't theirs and so on.

That can't be good for anyone, but especially the person who finds themselves staying late at the end of the day to get their own work done after they've finished everyone else's; or who swallows their resentment when they are 'volunteered' for something they don't want to do; or who quakes at the idea of having to be a bit tougher with a supplier or even someone they manage.

You must learn when and how to say “no” if you really want to accelerate your career. Because so long as you say “yes” to every request for your time and talent, you are allowing your friends and associates to consume your most precious asset–your time–to serve their agendas rather than advancing your own.

I know. It not easy to say “no.” “Yes” gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Your ego is really stroked when you are asked to lend your abilities to solve someone else’s needs. You become convinced that you are the only one who can do the job. You believe that taking on more and more assignments is the road to success. You are reluctant (i.e. afraid) to use “no” with your boss.

Resist those chronic complainers who want to burn up your time telling you about their problems and asking you to hold their hand or intercede on their behalf. It’s okay to be Mr. Nice Guy for a brief time. But when that role begins to cut into your productive time, gently and firmly put a stop to it.

By learning to say “no” when necessary you make more time to say “yes” for those tasks that accelerate your career.

If you are fully overloaded and your saying “no” doesn’t get relief, perhaps it’s time to look for a more accommodating environment.