I , Me and Shakthi - Life's little lessons

Blog moved to http://shakthidharan.net

2009-01-02T14:25:00.000+05:30

My Blog has moved Here

Happy New Year !!

2008-12-26T18:49:00.001+05:30

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi !!

2008-12-16T09:20:00.000+05:30

Me and my worries !! I think we are married to each other and the way things are going now , I have a bad feeling that I will have to do what Shah Rukh did in the movie to get around ; become someone else !!

Here is how that someone should be :

Totally Wealthy
With a lot of investments that are in the green
With a totally understanding family
Should be a good planner
Weighing less than me
More mobile than me
Earns more than me
Looks better than me

Whoa !!
What am I doing ? Dreaming in the day with my eyes open !!
Hmm , lemme get back to solving my woes !!
Ciao till tommorow

~Shakthi

We have a date !!

2008-12-15T13:33:00.001+05:30

I finally have a date for the first of the three surgeries that will get me back to normalcy . Somehow , I dont feel all that happy . My past experiences with surgeries havent been pleasant at all .The last one I had ; knocked me out of action for almost a year and when I came back , it was painful , very very very painful .

Maybe I am just being a child , medicine does improve in 20+ years and I am sure it has . I am just paranoid ; I just need to relax and let it happen and everything will be ok . Just that having a dependent family puts that much more pressure on you to not go out of action . My family is far more important than anything else to me .

The day is Friday and let me keep my fingers crossed !!

Lost again ??

2008-12-11T12:54:00.001+05:30

I dunno what the Yanks are upto
I dunno what the Desis are upto
I dunno what I am upto
I dunno what the market is upto
I dunno what the industry is upto

I know I am lost !!

Languishing in La La Land :(

2008-12-10T16:36:00.002+05:30

My dear Seniors and Elders

I am trying to get my health fixed . Without that , I cannot be around for my son and my family . Why in the name of sweet heavens dont you understand that ? Everybody is carried away with a list of things that they think is important . Well here is the bottom line ; I have decided to have a life and I will live my life ; whatever whoever thinks I dont care . I owe a healthy life to me and my family .

If there are commitments getting delayed
If there is a project getting delayed
If I loose my job

Well , guess what ? I DONT CARE !!
I have had enuf living a second grade life and want my life back

I dont care what who thinks anymore .

Thanks for your understanding

Yours
Shakthi

Crow and the Swans ??

2008-12-03T14:08:00.001+05:30

What chance does the former have to get even minimal credence in the presence of the latter ? ZERO !!

That is what I , Me and Shakthi feel today

(Sorry abt this obnoxious post, but I just write what I feel)

Happy Bday Sus !!

2008-11-30T17:23:00.002+05:30

Have a Blast and have it throughout the year !!

You deserve the very best of everything and you will get it .

You are a glowing example of spirit , grit and determination

No No : No Hindi poem ;-)

HBD !!

"Forever" - What a thought !

2008-11-06T09:12:00.003+05:30

There are things that fascinate me from childhood . "Forever" is one of them . The very concept of forever is very intriguing . When did time start and when will it end ? What a fantastic thought ! Truly needs a fertile mind to think it up and make sense out of it . Come to think of it , something or someone that will be there forever !! Wowee!!

With that thought ; I started thinking , if forever was true , what would I want forever ? Then there would be a list of things there , some that I am used to and many that I want to be used to . So here goes my forever list .

Things I want forever :

Hari
Hema
All my relatives
Sus
My Sense of Humor
Rajesh and Sampath

Now down to the why part of this list . Let us take them one by one .

Hari is the center of my universe and If I am to be ; he has to be otherwise I am not . That is the best way to put it
Hema is me and together we are WE , the very essence of me
My relatives are the completely total support system I have and they are necessary for everything
Sus , you must be surprised to find you here in this list ; well frankly so am I , never before has someone become so important , valuable and totally reliable for me ever in my insignificant life so far . I alone know the number of times that you have supported me when I was down and out and there are no words to describe that ; even my family knows that very well . so I figure if there is a forever , our friendship deserves it ! What say ?

My Sense of humor is the only thing that is between where I am today and what I would have been otherwise ; so i want to keep it forever too

Rajesh and Sampath : Two of my best friends who will do anything for me and I will do anything for them ; they are the pillars of my thoughts , plans and everything . They kinda complete my world . They are like little brothers who are growing up and growing up Fast . I want to have them also with me forever .

That's all , not a very long forever list na ?
See you soon !!

Sus - The Cool Cucumber !!

2008-10-29T19:37:00.001+05:30

A very Happy Diwali to all of you . An occasion demands a spl write up , and what can be better than writing about the most special friend I have - Sus ; The Cool Cucumber !! I remember first meeting her on the floor roughly two years ago . We were sitting right opposite each other and dint even speak to each other for the first two days . By that time I was stifled with the stiff upper lip on the floor that everybody had and wanted to talk to someone before I died of shock ! I then started talking to everybody who I came across and first on that list was Madam Sus . And believe me ; there are many things I did wrong ; but that is the RIGHTEST thing that I have done in a long long time now and boy am I glad I did it !! Very rarely does a friend like her come along - very practical ; very supportive and always there . You know what is the best thing about her ; She can listen to you abt anything ; meaning that there is no topic that you can't talk with her . All her suggestions are right there and she does a lot of analysing very fast . Together we have had what can be called very clearly the most funniest moments that anybody on the floor has had in this project and there are many pple who will vouch for that . Whenever the chips are down (believe me ; that is just too often in my life :) ) she is there for me . She calls me the liveliest person on the floor , but she is the alivest person on the floor . She keeps my spirits going by just being there and not having any rules to be there . She is also like me ; comes to office early and leaves pretty late (rare group of people who don't wake up at 11:00 am ) . There have been many a times when I was under MAJOR stress and she just supports me through the whole experience . I also have a doubt that she is a Dhoni fan :) (she denied that though) .

Here is what I would summarize this as " Most people read history , people like Sus ; write it !!"

Sorry Sus , No Hindi poetry at the end !!

Ciao till the next post

Managing the future

2008-08-26T17:11:00.002+05:30

As it turns out , this is very very tough ; future is something that people rarely think of , leave alone plan for .Even if they do plan , most of the times the plan and the happenings never coincide . So when it comes to managing the future of a bunch of young people , wow !! whattefun !!

First up , they have no idea what they are doing and how it gells with the team and the industry .Next is that they have a bunch of totally misguided peers to give them solid misdirection , the last but not the least is their adamant refusal to climb out of the shells that they call their comfort zones . Well if Edison and Galileo and Newton stuck to doing what they are comfortable with , you can guess what would have happened .

Forget comparisons to greatness ; come down to the earth .These energetic young guys look like China clay and you start believing that they can be moulded into professionals and then you start only to realise that they are porcelain , tough to reshape once shaped . You hurt your own hands and fingers after that . Then they come and ask you not "Are you hurt ?" but "Why did you even try , aint it my life ?"

Well my dear youg friends that is the point ; it is your life and you get precisely only one shot at it , and when people hardened by life tell you things , it is not just because they like hearing their own voice

Have a great life ahead !!

My Team ??

2008-08-23T08:40:00.004+05:30

There are things that are close to your heart . There are things that you build from scratch and feel proud about . There are things that you hold very dear to yourself . My dear reader , in my case one of the things that I hold very close to my heart is my team . I always treat them and think of them as my family , but then in all this thought lines I forgot about what they think about me ; Guess what ? I found out the hard way . In a pressure situation ; they chose someone else over me .

Not that I am anybody to dictate their choices ; but just that the effort I put in into this team is so close to my heart that even me; the hardened pro ; could not take it . But I guess that is where life teaches lessons ; the boy in the park ; my financial scene ; my health ; my mobility and now my team are all lessons in life for me .

Where did I go wrong ? I am sure that it is me who is at fault again with my royal expectations from the people that I regard as close to me . Where was the issue ? I remember the good old days when there were just 4 of us and we worked and played absolutely hard .I felt like I had another family back then .We used to look forward to Fridays and have a blast .

Even if the scene at home went bad ; the guys were there like solid rock and supported me to the hilt . What went wrong ? I gave them things that they can only dream ofand I even made them comfy with the top brass ;

Looks like their false sense of companionship and team are getting in the way of their judgement and screwing the ability to see things clearly . Am I getting restless unecessarily ? Am i loosing it ? Is my team pissed with me ?? Where do I stand now ? I am lost and need help urgently , I am thinking ; "Is this time to change things or the place ??"

Help me out here

jeene ke liye socha hi nahin, dard sambhalane honge

2008-07-31T11:55:00.002+05:30

jeene ke liye socha hi na tha, dard sambhalane honge

muskuraoon to, muskurane ke karz utaarne honge

muskuraoon kabhi to lagata hai

jaise hontonn pe karz rakhaa hai

What a song !!

Describes my predicament to the dot . When I was growing up , I thought I would be up against odds , but not this many and of this magnitude .It is now standing at a point where I am scared to be happy , coz the price for happiness is too high . Simple things , take a walk , play with my kid , walk with my wife , laugh out aloud , these are proving to be too costly and rare now-a-days . Is it me ? Is this what life is ? Well this is not what I thought it would be . Hope that it will et better soon

(FINGERS CROSSED )

Back after a long while ...

2008-07-03T16:01:00.002+05:30

Hello Friends , I am back after a long time .Frankly , there are three things that kept me away from blogging daily - I , Me and Shakthi . I really would not want to blame anything /person other than me for this long absence . Let us just say that I was caught up in the grind and right next to the stone =) There were issues that needed solutions and there were issues without solutions . For most part I was lost balancing work and life . I almost got lost in the commotion to the point that no one could hear me screaming out for peace (including my own self) . But now things are standing at a stage where if I dont find it , I will pretty soon self destruct into a million pieces and no one will even remember that I was here . Yes the scene is that bad . Let me express that thought in detail below

There are two things that are bugging me , I am at a stage at work where if I miss a Sunday , pple ask me why and if I get to work on a saturdady at 11:00 am , I am late !! There you go , you think I am making it up , but really my dear reader , that is true as will my 400 other colleagues vouch . I guess the cost of greatness is immeasurable if you try to sit down and measure it . I guess that is why we never know much about the personal lives of Gary Sobers , Sachin Tendulkar , Rahul Dravid et al , do they have one ? are they happy ? Well answers might differ and be outside the scope of this blog , but one thing I have learnt is There is work till you die and hence you dont die for work . I know that I sound like a pessimist , I assure you that I am not . Just battle bruised beyond repair and not ready for the next one that is just around the corner inevitable lurking to hit me when I am not looking .

Coming to the more familiar turf of my personal life , I have succeeded in pissing off every single family member that I care about and putting them under pressure to make things work . I am sorry about that , it is beyond my control now . I am going MAD . Running a family is easy only when you have sane elders around you . If you have pple whose minds are going like a yo-yo then you are finished buried and forgotten . I respectfully ask my spiteful elders to spare me the painful daily life I am having now and help me to live like a man . Please guys , let me live . I dont want to go bonkers yet . I have only my wife and son for support now . Without them , I will definitely be writing this from a mental asylum .

Why do elders forget their life when it comes to the way they treat us ; why are things not clear to them when they hurt us bad for silly things ? Is this why you brought me up ? Well thanks !! You did a swell job , just that I am crying in pain daily . Wake up before I change and I dont wanna change now

Oh and before I forget , Hello Biju , how was the buttermilk break ? good ?

Man ! My kingdom for a few moments of peace in life !!!

Spl thanks to Cucumber , Monty , Bond , Potter , Mickey , Daft Punk , Neha and Nishita , they are the people who are helping me to not go mad now

Thanks guys !!

Dear Reader , I promise my next post will be positive , stay with me on this one

Mom , the best word in any language

2008-02-13T17:12:00.002+05:30

Mom is a nice word in any language .You can hear of a bad bro , bad sis , bad friends , bad Sanjay or even a bad Dad but never of a bad Mom . Coming to think of it , just mention that word to anyone and the only thing that comes to anybody in a flash is good memories , unless they are an aberration to nature .

Like everybody , I too like everything about my mom, she is the single source of all the cocksureness and the confidence that I have in me now .She taught me a lot of things , the best of them is that it is not worth it to get worried and have a long face about anything in life .When you frown nobody frowns with you , when you smile atleast one person joins you in that smile.When I was growing up , she had to work all seven days a week to support me . Yes , all seven days .And she did that with a smile , never a frown .The number of days out of the seven that she did overtime just to get the money to buy me something was also very high .And believe me I am yet to see anybody go through so much trouble for somebody else .I got to meet her every sunday , as I was growing up with my Grandma in my aunt's place .I still remember my eagerness to meet her every week and happiness in every toffee and biscuit she bought for me .She had HUGE expectations about how I would become a great success story in life and how I would take care of her after I make it big .She was the reason why I am where I am today .She could have easily moved her attentions to another kid and let fate handle me .She dint , she stood with me in every good and bad thing that happened to me .The number of times she was on fast for my health is amazingly high .That is a tough act to follow .

After I got older and got myself into more trouble like all sons do , she still stood with me , like a rock .

I know that I have dissapointed her in many ways at many occasions , I know that it is not sufficient to say this , but , "I am sorry Mom "

My Brother Subbu

2007-11-20T02:12:00.001+05:30

Friends , life throws a lot of things at you as it flies past .Not all of them are pleasant .Very rarely you get a gift that you cherish.My Team has been such a gift , they are more like my brothers who feel everything with me .And part of that band of brothers is a witty and slightly insane guy called Subbu.The streak of insanity is needed for the level maturity that he has and without that lght madness , you will not see him in true light .

First time I met him , hee was standing behin Vijay H , twisting his arms in nervousness , he had been given a raw deal and fitted into a team.Well the fit was like "The Rock" being recruited for Java coding :) .You can see the fit !! .When I saw him more closely , he was an honest guy with no pretensions .I gave him a shot at shooting his ex bosses and my word ! He was like Butch Cassidy :) Totally pumped up .

The good thing about Subbu is that he knows his limits and rarely tests them , well the bad thing about him is also the same , he never explores anything new .

On this trip to Atlanta , he is with me , helping me with everything and even cooking for me .

Believe me nit many people will be as open as he is , but still be closed , he is a puzzle that I am trying to crack now .Or may be he is a crack !!!

He has exactly the same amount of madness that I have and that makes us family .You need mad people to have fun and imagine a world full of sane guys .

It will be like Microsoft -->boring . My understanding of his thinking process is now better after I have heard his snoring for 15 days !!

He is a very very very very very very close person to me , much closer than any of my brothers got so far .

Let us see when he goes mad .

Subbu , everything ok , but blazer yaake ??

Atlanta Calling

2007-11-20T01:48:00.000+05:30

I have now settled into a rhythm in Atlanta and I am trying to get to terms with the lifestyle and other things here .But believe me , potatoes and eggs with pork for breakfast daily , well ,,, life leaves a lot to be desired . But the excellent accesibility and me being on par with everybody else in terms of going anywhere and being able to do anything , that beats everything else that aint good .

I also have a new friend now , a Samsung NV 15 10 Megapixel canera that can capture vivid images everywhere , even without me straining to .

Coming to the point , most of my old friends think I am a thiief and most of my new friends think I am a Demi-God . What am I ? I am good old trinity . I , Me and Shakthi .

I miss you India , I miss Idli Vada and Dosa . I miss the HUGE crowd of friends . I miss Susmita , Mahanthesh , Rajesh , Jags and all of the others. I miss my daliy routine .But you know what I miss the most ----> Hema and Hari !! I miss them terribly and I am praying that I see them soon or go mad

see ya soon.

Comin soon ... A total revamp !!!

2007-06-01T21:31:00.001+05:30

Watch this space for the new me , very soon !!

The best is yet to come !!!

Very Very Very Soon !!!

Stay with me .

Be here or be square !!!

A very creditable and credible set of measures indeed !

2007-05-03T15:28:00.001+05:30

I am talking about the IT and BPO industries in Bangalore offering special packages to encourage women employees to make their work more comfortable and easy .What we have to acknowledge and accept is the fact that the tightrope that working women walk on a daily basis is remarkably stress-ridden and unforgiving at times .

They are expected to balance every aspect of both family and office lives completely and ensure that they are always smiling and pleasant .This I think stems out of the deep rooted MCPism that our society was immersed in till not so long ago .

We need to see and understand the fact that women get a raw deal most of the time in a male dominated social set up.It is nice to see that things like the topic of the video below are happening and I only sincerely hope that all my women colleagues get their fair share of everything .

See the video below to understand what I am talking about

A thought provoking excerpt from a friend's blog - disturbed me a lot

2007-04-20T13:52:00.001+05:30

A
politician is an individual who is a formally recognized and active
member of a government, or a person who influences the way a society is
governed through an understanding of political power and group
dynamics. But do you think Politicians any means conform to the
definition? The meaning of is to look for the people without
really thinking of his own. One who lives for the people, elected by
the people and serves to the people can be termed as a representative.
But where can you really find the link between today's politicians and
the one in the books as definition or the meaning. You can anybody and
all will tell that politicians are worthless. I am not here to tell the
same to you. I want to tell you it's we who are worthless. Even if I or
any of you be a politician, you will be the exact photocopy of today's
politician. You know why? We don't have courage to be truthful, honest
and tell the truth. Same is the case with me. But I want to be truthful
at least in this blog.

It's
all about the system. We all know that we want our child to take birth
in a nursing home. So we have money to spend and hence admit to a well
recognized nursing home. There you go. So Govt. hospitals that are
authorized to serve people's health is not opted for. So the doctors
out there will suggest you to go to a nursing home. And we also go. Now
the same an ordinary people whose monthly income is 1,000 Rs. can't
afford. It leads to degradation of Govt. Hospitals
and inflation (astronomical) of medical costs. Can't we admit our wives
to Govt. Hospitals and fight for better facilities and doctors. That
time we are selfish and while blaming others we shout. Isn't it a
mockery of us?

Next
will be our education. Best school (private, English medium), best
private tutor (preferably from the school) and pay high to get the
leaked notes, question paper. Why? We don't want our children to be
educated rather we want them to earn huge money so that they can give
money at our old ages. This leads to degradation of education system,
unfair examination system and incapable future. What they will study?
Education imbibes enlightenment which can bring knowledge, power,
thinking judging skills and to decide what to do. But if the
pampered sons/daughters of riches be the IAS/IPS/Politicians/Govt.
Employees/Doctors/Engineers/IT professionals what more we can expect?

"Sunshine
shows the day"-So what does this shows? Will anybody among them will
think for the downtrodden or will go on similar lines as their parents
did to make him successful (paying high donations during admissions to
higher education, tuition fees use references to get into reputed
MNC's/high govt. jobs). Life is a full waste of them as they can't
think they don't know what is life? Never read any science still their
degree and job shows a lot. How can you expect them to do something for
the nation/human civilization when their society taught them to be
selfish to gain more wealth, power, love (sex, glamour and not love)
and attention? He will never know the struggle of a farmer to reap a
grain of rice which he's leaving off every day in his plate. He will
never know the sufferings of those for which he's so comfortable in his
life (A.C, flat, car, mobile).

During
employment we are either doing useless, clerical white colored
work which is mundane, repetitive and non-creative jobs else we will
grew up as a manager to exploit/drink blood of others only to make
somebody more rich. Their billion crore asset is increased by 1 million
so take .001% of the amount (we give more to our pet dogs).

"Do
everything to make your baby lead a happy life"- So what needs to be
done? buy 3 cars for 2 people contributing to pollution and increasing
cost decreasing attention public transport, auto/taxi's
in deciding destination fare and higher prices of fuel
(demand-supply methodology) with more traffic jam. So we give a world
of selfishness, unprecedented usage of natural resources, pollution and
a perverted mind full of anger, frustration, greed, division w.r.t
money, status, power and never nurture the true humanity, ethics,
morale values, soft senses.

Do
we realize the same, do any introspection or feel regret/guilty or
understand consequences or ever try to think to revert the progress of
humanity to utmost destruction unknowingly? Life is short. Even if you
realize (self-realization or forced) do we have the courage to do
something or have the clarity of what to do? I think we have it when we
are at death beds which are expected in 60-70 yrs of age. So let's
think it before the realities of life, the raw truth hit our
consciences hard enough to our lives miserable.

(Thanks to Tirtha Dey )

Now I start :

/>Do u agree with this?

Have we become like this ?

I will post my thoughts tommorow

Falling apart

2007-04-20T11:20:00.001+05:30

That summarizes what I am going through and why I haven't been posting lately .

A lot of things have been going wrong , very very wrong .And I am trying to grapple with the facts of facing the after effects of a few wrong decisions , very wrong decisions.And not helping it further are a series of unfortunate happenings at home and personal life ...

My Dear Reader , I am at the crossroads now , I think I am looking at it now , a Mid Life Crisis .Yes , I think I am having it now .

Hasty decisions often prove to be costly and in my case that is happening .One of the most important things that you need to be at peace with is where you execute your daily business of earning a livelihood.I urge all of you to put enuf due diligence into the process of selecting the place .Because sometimes , it turns out that the place is great , absolutely fantastico ! and you too are nothing short of a genius , but put together the combination does not yield results .Meaning that the equations sucks at both ends .And when that happens , daily life becomes a drone and that can kill your mind , body and soul very painfully .

The next thing I want to tell you is about the most misunderstood word in the software industry ; a Performance Improvement Plan .Well at face value , you think that this is a plan to improve your performance .It is not ! It is just a heads up and notification to start looking out .If you take actual numbers , the number of people who actually come out successful from a PIP is dismally low .Why ? Here is what I think .Although the intentions are there .The execution matters a lot .And the way these PIP are executed are very far from professional/desirable.There are various ways in which they are executed ; one of the most popular ones is the method of assigning a simple but impossible task to be completed in a week.For example : Move to UCM in the next week ! .

The next popular method is the hounding method .Here the boss chooses a hound ( a person/colleague) and asks him to start hounding the guy in PIP.The objective hound him to the extent that he throws up his arms and goes by himself , a win-win !

I must say that both these methods do not aim at improving performance but at making the guy quit and they invariably work all the time .I am telling you as an Engineer and a Manager .They work damn well !

One side , we go crying wolf that people are hopping like rabbits across companies and that retention is the eternal challenge .On the other end we have HR chiefs reading through all your work from home mails to count the number of days where it looks less than 8 hrs so that it becomes half a day off !! Then there are the band of mouthies m the folks who work with their mouths and cannot stand people who work with their brains and hands .It is amazing how the mouthies often find management favor easier than the real techies .The just sail along after that .No worries !!

We are going to a world where you can pull out your mobile phone and say "restaurants" and it shows you a list of restaurants based on a profile of your likings and preferences and even your budget .Then it goes on to download the route to your selection into your car after booking a parking slot and a table for you .If it is a long drive , you can order and the e-wallet on your phone pays for you while you are getting there .

To make this happen , we need to keep the Human Resources human and not turn them into zombies .Encourage and foster trust and try and make them belong and not report to you .Ahh ! Utopia !! Where is it ?

3652 days (roughly)

2007-03-30T10:10:00.001+05:30

That is the number of wonderful days that I have been married.This 26th was my tenth anniversary and looking back : I have absolutely no regrets and only great feelings about it .

All credit to my wife for putting up with a cranky , at times pesky guy like me and smiling right through! Let me tell you a little more .

Here are some of the important roles Hema plays for me .

When I am angry - Pacifier
When I am sad - Supporter
When I am lost - Guide
When I am winning - Fan
When I am losing - Coach
When I am crying - with me
When I am smiling - with me
When I am down - Motivator
When I am confused - Friend
When I need one - A shoulder
When I am tired - A refresher
When I am funny - the audience
When I am gross - the punisher
When I am over sleeping - the waker
When I am undersleeping - the admonisher

And I could go on and on .....

There is another side to the whole deal ; it is not very easy to be 24x7 with one person unless the understanding and camaraderie are right up there and that is the key for a successful married life .

The other unique thing about your spouse is that he/she is the only person who is goin to go the full long haul with you and be there always .From that angle if your spouse does not vibe with you , you are in for it ! I have been extremely lucky to get the perfect foil for me as my spouse .I dunno how much of that is true from her point of view .But for me ; Life just got better and better and better after marriage .She has this uncanny knack to read my face and understand what went on the last 6 hours ! That saves a lot of talking and energy .She knows when I am pissed and plays down .She knows when I am wrong and plays up .Well , a fair mix of both !

They say that souls are created in pairs and the lucky ones meet and get married .I would like to think that I am one such lucky soul .

Down the line ; despite the fact that hereditary diabetes was holding her down and making life tough , she went through hell to give me the best gift so far ! My Son Hari ! I can't even think of life before Hari now .That is the impact he has had on our lives .

I must say that I am looking forward to atleast another 100 years of this !

Hema : u are the best !

Idiots on International Media !!

2007-03-22T12:29:00.001+05:30

Satinder Bindra is the idiot that I am talking about .I caught him yday on CNN talking about the prevalent caste problem in India and its effects.He did a whole bunch of things that got my blood boiling .

First up : He talks crap in a crappy accent , and is very evident that he know NOTHING or close to NOTHING about India.He went on and on and on about things that he had no idea about .

The first time I saw him on CNN was in 99 I think , he was just in and did a piece on Bill Gates and Melinda Gates donating to AIDS funds in India and I must say that he is , over the years , consistently ridiculous to say the least .Back then , he said "The richest man is in the poorest country " to describe Gates' visit .Well even after a Tsunami hit us , India was the only country that "refused" categorically to accept any aid from the US.The next thing is , you study in a delhi school so long ago and run away to Canada to suck up to a dollar paying job , come back , become delhi bureau chief and say whatever you want ? But , isnt news about the truth and not what you think ?

He went to completely stupid levels when he spoke about Abhijit Sawant the Indian Idol winner , being a lower caste guy who struggled a lot to get to the top.And how he was the only lower caste guy to do it in 50 years .Wake up Satinder !! You are talking passee and crape here , absolutely no sense in it.He talks about priests still being the most powerful people in India.Now ; APJ Abdul Kalam , The Ambanis , Tatas , Ruias , Birlas , Narayan Moorthy : which of these is a priest ?

He was talking about how even in school the lower caste students are discriminated ; well I was in school a long time ago , and even back then ; I dint know which caste who was , so what is this fool talking about ?

His partner in the telecast ; was someone called "Anjali Rao" , but called herself AAnjali Rave !! Tsk Tsk another american desi !!.She was interviewing Satinder to find out about India !!! What can be a better statement than that .Irritating and completely foolish to say the least .I can't bear it anymore .We need to fix these sons and daughters of India who are lost in the act of being "accomplished global Indians" .Or they better cancel their citizenship , it is simple , will any american talk about america in the third person and talk crap abt his nation .Wel , he wont .Then why my dear Satinder and Anjali , are you two guys being totally stupid ? What is the point ? Are u looking for CNN to pat you and make you Global bureau chief ? Well wake up and smell the salt !! It aint happenin .

Satinder went on about inter-caste marriages being the only solution and how they are being prevented by the political parties .Hey , I have been married to a brahmin girl for the past 10 years and havent seen any party trying to ruin my life yet !

Let us look at what are Satinder's accomplishments .

I am still looking !! Couldn't find much there , other than the fact that he went first to London and later became a Canadian citizen (which technically makes him a deserter) .

And finally a note to CNN and the other broadcasters ; India is not just full of half clad kids playing on dirty roads .We write 90% of the brainy things that run the world.Please stop the "hut by the road with semi naked kids dancing" reports on India .We buy more Coke and Pepsi than the rest of Europe and Asia put together for Gods Sake !!

Satinder , quit the job and get back to school , you are under qualified !!

Yours Truly

An Irate Genuine Indian

Learning to say no

2007-03-21T13:47:00.001+05:30

Today , I feel like writing about the most important thing that needs to be learnt.The fine art of saying "No".Sometimes it is easy , sometimes it aint , the problem is that it is easy to say no to things or people that you dont like , when it is the otherway round , it is kinda tuf .You see , life is full of scenarios where you have to refuse things that you like.That is a true test of the ability in objectivity .

A lot of people just don't like the idea of having to tell people they can't do something. Or they feel obligated when a colleague asks a favour; or feel pressurised when someone senior to them needs something done.

There are even some work places where saying no is definitely frowned upon; and in, say, the police force, could be a sackable or disciplinary offence.

After having worked for some time with people where saying no either feels impossible or just isn't allowed, we created a body of work to address it. In some cases it is indeed, how to say no without ever saying the word.

Of course, there are times when saying the 'n' word is a necessity. But in our experience, there is so much anxiety around the possible consequences of using it, that people don't say anything at all, or agree to things they'd rather not, or get landed with work that isn't theirs and so on.

That can't be good for anyone, but especially the person who finds themselves staying late at the end of the day to get their own work done after they've finished everyone else's; or who swallows their resentment when they are 'volunteered' for something they don't want to do; or who quakes at the idea of having to be a bit tougher with a supplier or even someone they manage.

You must learn when and how to say “no” if you really want to accelerate your career. Because so long as you say “yes” to every request for your time and talent, you are allowing your friends and associates to consume your most precious asset–your time–to serve their agendas rather than advancing your own.

I know. It not easy to say “no.” “Yes” gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Your ego is really stroked when you are asked to lend your abilities to solve someone else’s needs. You become convinced that you are the only one who can do the job. You believe that taking on more and more assignments is the road to success. You are reluctant (i.e. afraid) to use “no” with your boss.

Resist those chronic complainers who want to burn up your time telling you about their problems and asking you to hold their hand or intercede on their behalf. It’s okay to be Mr. Nice Guy for a brief time. But when that role begins to cut into your productive time, gently and firmly put a stop to it.

By learning to say “no” when necessary you make more time to say “yes” for those tasks that accelerate your career.

If you are fully overloaded and your saying “no” doesn’t get relief, perhaps it’s time to look for a more accommodating environment.

The (only) other Dharan

2007-03-13T12:31:00.001+05:30

I wanted to write about someone who is as close to me as anyone can get.He grew up with me .We have played , fought , studied , travelled and freaked out together a lot .It is kinda tough to trace back on my first memory of him.The earliest I remember is that of a three year old who was still sipping milk from a feeding bottle , and at that age he was going to school.The reason: I needed company to go to school.I am talking about my brother Sashidharan.The only other Dharan at home !

The Age difference between us is about 3 years , but I never even once remember calling him the "little one" or him calling me "Anna" .We were and will always be buddies on a first name basis .That is what I like about our relationship the most.It is mostly a no formalities very straightforward and fun thing.No fancy stuff there .

We two were "THE two annas " for all the other kids .But between us , you would probably not see better buddies .There is an uncanny rhythm about us.We can kinda see what the other sees very easily.That comes from the many years of growing up together at Sabapathy Street in Chennai.

There are many many moments that I treasure of the time we spent growing up.The most precious of them would be the time when we were at school and used to commute to and fro by rickshaw .One evening , I was playing with my friends and the rickshaw arrived .In the spirit of the game I asked the rickshaw guy to wait for a few mins and he hastily left.Only to return after two hours or so .This meant that we reached home very late .Sashi was all set to go earlier itself , he stayed back as I had .And when we arrived at home , one of our uncles(dont want to name him here ) decides to discpline us and takes out a stick and actually beat us up very severely.This guy(Sash) went thro with it just for stickin by me .I felt thoroughly terrible for that.The after effects of that day were many , not within the scope of this posting .One of the good ones was that I knew I had a trustworthy guy around me always .

We almost always went to the same school , except for the last two years of my schooling where I went to a different school due to unavoidable reasons.This meant that we spent roughly 10 years 24x7 with each other during the school days .

When it was time for us to go for our first movie without elders , We went together .I remember the movie : "Ghostbusters".We took along a whole contingent of kids (about 10 of us) and the onus of management was on me and Sash .We did a great job ! That was fun too .

The many many cricket matches we played at home , where one of us invariably was cheating (Sash more often :)) and ended up quarreling and deciding not to talk to each other for the rest of our lives ; invariably "no-talk" dint last more than an hour max .

Almost every vacation that I have been to any parts outside Chennai was with him.

As we grew up into fine young men (ahem!) , there wasnt anything that we dint talk about .Then after school Sash decided that he wanted to Engineering , (incidentally , me too !!) .After Engineering , I chose a different path and he preferred doing his masters in the US .

Well before that I got married to Hema (ofcourse you know that by now!).I remember how genuinely happy he was for me and how active he was at my wedding.But like they say , as men become husbands and then fathers , they cease to be boys , and our respective careers and other duties have made us kinda far from each other (we are on different sides of the earth now .This means just that , we are far away , but whenever we do catch up , tis always fun! .

Did I tell you that he is very good with the guitar ? He is !

Sash , miss you man !!!

TGIF

2007-03-09T10:24:00.001+05:30

Thank God it is a friday .I dont have to get up early tommorow .
TGIF : I can watch TV late today
TGIF : Me and my son can play longer today
TGIF : I can afford to have a long sweet chat with my wife at night
TGIF : I can pull my legs up and plan for the weekend tonight
TGIF : Tomorrow is a Holiday
TGIF : The day after too

Hurray for the inventor of Friday !!!

Here is how my friday evenings go :-

I go home and my son has 1000 questions abt which pokemon can battle which one and why Ash uses the wrong one always but wins all the time .Then he teaches me the names of about 150 pokemon that he knows by heart now .Then we talk about why only Spongebob can wear square pants and what will happen if we did (!!) .We also try and find someone who is a Squidward in our circle :) .Then we discuss the next threat to the world that Robin and the Teen Titans will have to face and the kinda startegy they need to work around that .He then tells me what transpired that week at school.Then he asks me to narrate the customary bedtime story without which he doesn't sleep at all .Gone are the days when I used to sing him to sleep.He says "DAD !!!!!" when I start now and I stop immediately.We think he is asleep , but he sits up and asks me to power up my laptop and print him a pokemon coloring page .Mostly Pikachu and Charizard , sometimes it is Wabuffet .Then all of us get together and color the picture .And Finally he goes to sleep .

Here is the coloring page

Then I ensure that he is asleep , switch the TV on and slip in my James Bond DVD collection and let it run .As the movie goes by I recollect the first time I saw it as a kid.Most of these take me back to my brother Sashi , as we were the twosome that watched the max english stuff at home those days .Sometimes , I pick up my phone and call Sashi (he is now living in the US ) , we chat for some time.Amazing , how time changes you , there is so much you can , but there is only so much you really talk about now-a-days.Boy , I miss our growing up days .

My wife secretly brings in some snacks (!!) for me to munch on and then me and her start talking .Mostly nothing significant , but everytime we talk , I end up realise how much I enjoy , just talking to her and how it instantly makes me lighter .We chat till about 1:00 am and then go to sleep .At this point I shud mention that get up early irrespective of when we sleep.Thanks to my Grandma for the early waking habit that is in my genes now .

Will tell you about Saturdays tomorrow as it is a Saturday !!

Ciao for now

-=S

Things I treasure a lot

2007-03-08T14:43:00.001+05:30

Playing cricket with my brothers at our house in Chennai
The constant company of my younger brother Sashidharan
Vacations where all 12/14 of us got together and played
My friend Pankaj Goel from school
Pankaj's house and his whole family
My "Valliachan" , who still is a role model for me in planning and execution
My Mom's songs
Frequent outings with my Valliamma and Valliachan
Mema (One of my three Moms) taking me and Sash out to movies and hotels and other towns
Riding a bus to college
Singing in the bathroom
Having my Granny's hot tea in the rainy season
The endless long chats with my Granny about everything
My brother Prem
Long chats with Sashi and Prem
My best friend in school Phanuel Robinson
My best friend in college Satish Babu
The 100s of audio cassettes at home
The 100s novels at home
My first day out with my wife (then my girlfriend)
My first glimpse of Hari my son
The First Time I sang to Hari and he slept
The many things that I asked my Dad and he never refused even one of them
The rickshaw rides to and from school
Marina Beach at Chennai
MMDA Colony , Chennai
Valluvar Kottam , Chennai
Hari's first day at school
My first day at school
My first day at college
My very first brush with Rock Music
A R Rahman's first album
Many Many Many times that Valliacha took us to Woodlands drive in
Everything about my childhood
My Grandmother's cooking and the great things she made for me
39 , Sabapathy Street

The Recovery begins

2007-03-06T12:00:00.001+05:30

Like I said yesterday , the job at Polaris was the fuirst step towards recovery .There were many issues to be sorted out and too few resources to sort them out with .In short my pay was not enuf to sort things out fast.So Hema continued to go to work and So did my mom so that we cud all pool the money and try to sort things out .

This meant that we cudn't go out over the weekends , no eating out , no shopping and even no planning for a kid.On top of all this we were living in a single bedroom apartment .There were 4 of us , so u can imagine the kinda adjusting it took. But we did buckle down and decide to weather it .

The work day at Polaris started early , I used to leave at 6:30 am and get back around 10:00 pm .It was so tiring that I spent the whole weekend sleeping .Saturdays were working days back then , so weekends meant only sundays :( .I was also exposed to Solaris for the first time in my life and I think that was the time that I was maximum excited .Here was a cleaner version of windows (!!!) and it never crashed !! Everywhere I installed it 12 years ago , it still runs fine :)

Back to the main topic , so our focussed yet colorless recovery period lasted a full 36 months before we could see the end of our liabilities .And we were back at Zero .

Imagine back to Zero took 3 years !!

More in tommorow's post

And then it happened

2007-03-05T13:06:00.001+05:30

It is a great ability to laugh at oneself .Not many people can really do that .When you look at things that happened in the past sometimes you feel like like laughing at yourself .And then there are occasions that you wish hadn't happened an d that you had taken the logically correct path that is obvious now but wasnt even visible back then .

The sequence of events that followed after I started my company were of the second type , the type that you want to forget or even bury at times .You see , in all earnest effort , I was trying to do something .My company opened and I had a team that I knew very well working with me and we were in a business that I thought I knew very well (thinking now : I still dont know it that well) .

You see , we went on an order taking spree , which took us on a material buying spree .But we werent that good with collecting bills .This led to a money borrowing spree and before we knew it we were staring at HUGE credit and a lot of pressure .Under pressure , I went and borrowed from all the wrong sources (fisherman and loan sharks to name a few ).I ended up borrowing just to pay up the interest every friday (yes it was weekly compound interest :( ) .Things came to a stage were even if I sat at home ; there were pple looking for me to collect money from me every week .

There were a lot incidents of unpleasant characters sitting at home to collect , it got to a terribly unbearable state .I closed the company down and turned to the elders at home for some way out of this mess .They did help me and got me a HUGE loan from a known source .At that point I started applying for work and when you do that , it is never easy to get work ; nor does it happen in deterministic time frames .So in the interim , my wife started going to work as a stenographer with a small interior decoration company and here income was being used to pay interest for my loan every month .Both of were totaly dependent on elders for our day to day expenses and stuff.Believe me , that is not a nice state to be in .I am not finding any fault with anyone here , it is just that this phase literally killed whatever confidence I had in myself and made me a very complacent and defensive kinda guy .The exact opposite of the real me .

Did I mention that all my friends with me in my company conveniently chose to go away during this time !

After 11 harrowing months of this , I went to a famous Software Co to be interviewed for the post of a Tech Writer .The person who interviewed me rejected me for that post and outside the interview asked me to meet her.
I did and she gave me the mail id of a friend of hers in a HUGE company which was looking for a CONFIGURATION MANAGER .She told me "You are too good to be slotted in the Tech Writing job , you belong there , go there"

I was confused and thoroughly irritated , I lost a potential job and was aimlessly going to a place I did not know at all .Well I went to this place (Polaris Software) , there were a few rounds or interviews and at the end of it all I was SELECTED and they offered me a job paying 10,147 rupees a month .Twelve years ago , that was a HUGE salary .

That is where the recovery started .
More in the next post .

Bear with me

2007-03-02T21:02:00.001+05:30

Friends , bear with me for a few days , I may not be posting regularly , but definitely once in two days atleast .

By next week I will be back to the old frequency

Shakthi !! Wake up and smell the Salt!!

2007-03-02T11:35:00.001+05:30

After our marriage , the whole bliss and happiness thing lasted for about two weeks ,Then the fun began , you see the company that I was working for decided that they do not need my division and obviously when the division aint there , they don't need a VP for it .Hence I was fired without any notice .

What next ? I started looking out for a job and something told me that it will be better if I had a business of my own .I decided that the division that was axed will continue and become my company.Well there were a few things that I did not realise at that time , first and foremost was that I had ZERO experience at running my own show .Next were the small things like where I would get funding from (venture capital did not exist those days) , and where would I get people to work with me (I was not a known employer at that time , and even now ).

Most people would start small , I on the other hand started the size of KING KONG and HULK put together .I went for a posh multi-storey office bang in the center of Chennai.Fully air conditioned , power backup , support staff numbering 8 and all the jing bang .Well , at that time , I was very comfident that I would break even in 15 days !!

I found a solution my problem of people , I started roping in my classmates and family friends to work for me (as I realised very painfully later : WRONGEST THING TO DO!! EVER !! ) I felt like I owned half of the world and the other half was waiting for me to acquire it !!

Then the show began , I was good at communication , still am .So marketing and getting orders was never an issue .I was bad at sourcing and billing , the most important parts of running the show .So I ended up sourcing at a higher price , delivering at a lower price and being unable to collect all at the same time .

Before I realised it , It was trouble time , I had borrowed from all the wrong kinds of people and all my credit sources were overdrawn.At this point my wife offered to pawn all her jewels for me to get out of the trouble .She trusted me so much that she dint bother to ask or tell anyone else at home about this .

Well , as it turned out , people found out and in a very very very unpleasant manner .I still vividly remember all the events that lead upto my first "liquidity event" .That in the next post .

Always remember : Great opportunities are often brilliantly disguised as insolvable problems ...

Something that can bring anyone down

2007-02-21T11:07:00.001+05:30

What is that ? I am talking about something that get the worst out of even the best people.It has a completely disconcerting effect and helps no one at anything good .But there a people who benefit from it and cannot resist indulging in it impulsively.Personally whenever I have encountered it , I have always had a bad taste in my mouth. I keep thinking "Who gets what out of this ?" and most of the times nobody does.It drains you and everyone else and creates a messy environment and promotes disorder .

What am I talking about ? Well I am talking about the stupidity called office politics .And the minority that indulges in it manages to affect the majority that does not .So I have very strong feelings against this wasteful indulgence .Let me narrate a few scenarios

Scene 1: A is a manager , B is his reportee , C is a common friend and colleague.Everything is fine and things are going great .Then one day B realises that some of his expectations are not being met and after giving it a long thought talks to A about it and in the course of the discussions C also comes in .They discuss and mutually arrive at solutions to address the issues .

What do u think happened next ?
That everything was sorted out and things were ok ?
Well think again , a nasty scene was created and A and B no longer work together !!
Surprised ? Let me explain :
The seemingly solved and good situation was sabotaged by D .D is a person with a vested interest in not letting A , B and C work together in harmony and in that process has now rendered the good rapport void and these three guys now share a strained relationship .This I am sure will do no good to anyone , but it happened

Note : A , B and C are still friends , but the whole event has been managed by D in such a way that it looks like they have a problem.That is not true .But sadly D won :(

Scene2 : X and Y work in the same team , this is a team that is delivering a strategic flagship product .X and Y play vital roles in each delivery .They do a great job for three releases .The Management realises that they need someone to manage the team and since X and Y are both senior and similar in experience , they get Z to do it .Z is a manager from a reputed firm .A mature guy who has seen it all .What happens next ?
Well , Z screws up X and Y in every possible way , plays them against each other and both of them leave the company .
Why dis he do it ? out of insecurity , he thought they make better managers that him and hence he had to boot them out .What a terrible loss !!

The moral behind both the stories is the same , steer away from a few icky people
But it is tough to identify them .What do u do then ?
Here is a list that works in that case

Do not participate in or propagate gossip
Do not believe anything official other than what your boss tells you
Friends at office are friends at office and not like your other friends , remember that
Do not get personal with anyone without being very sure about the person
Give and take respect at all times
Keep a dignified distance from conversations that are quasi gossip and quasi facts , they hurt a lot
Never pass the word on , even if you believe it
No two people are the same , treat everyone differently and correctly
Good camaraderie at work is great , but try and keep your partying away from it
The Boss is always right , remember that

Ciao for now

Pravenka : The Preparer !!

2007-02-14T13:27:00.001+05:30

Today we talk about the last of the awesome foursome.
The Final and most weighted member of our gang : Pravenka (again , that is his id , his name is Pradeep !!)

Even now when I think of it ; I still dont remember where I met him first or what we talked .
It feels like we were always friends and he was always there , and that is how he is " always there when u need him !

Pradeep is a very strong sysadmin and I am also told by reliable sources that he is good at development and testing too !
But that is not the Pradeep that we want to talk about .My Friend Pradeep , is a very nice , well mannered and dependable person .
Whenever you need an additional head to think things out , he is the right guy .
You can trust him to be blatantly blunt and truthful about his opinion .
Like I said when talking about Paari , it is a long forgotten vice that got us together more often .
Lunch times were really good , you see there was Swami the dreamer and then Pravenka the preparer , he prepared you to wake up from your dreams :)

There was a prestigious quiz competition at office , me , Paari and Pradeep participated , there was a some simple question about Ethernet Twisted pair and Pradeep muffed it up :)

There was a boys day out at a guest house where Pradeep's preparation skills impressed me boundlessly .
Man !! He is the ultimate preparer :)

More about him in another post
Ciao

Paari's Visit

2007-02-11T11:31:00.000+05:30

Hello Reader ,

I should share a happy news with you .
Largely due to my blog here , Paari (lan government ) actually came and met me here in Bangalore and we had a fun time catching up with each other .
It is always a HUGE pleasure to have old friends coming over .
The whole feeling is very hard to describe , you know each other well , and yet there is so many things that you want to speak about and the whole process of that interaction is fun.
We went and sat in a nice quiet scenic place and talked and talked and talked and talked ......
There were so many memories that we caught up with ; some good ; some bad but all sweet :)

Another piece of news is that Swami (yes!) re-connected with me as a result of my blog posting about him .
He now has a son and is a responsible Dad !
Well a lot of good results of Technology and the internet there .
Thank you Blog !

After all this I miss my other very good friend : Pravenka , the preparer !!
Will tell u about him in the next post .
Ciao
More Later ...

LAN Government :)

2007-02-09T12:46:00.000+05:30

Wondering what that is ?

Well that is how I call my very very very good friend Paari .
Why ? His id was pelangov , and I kinda liked the "langov" part .
After Swami , Paari is the only other person who can predict my reactions to situations .That is how close he is to me , I hope that I am as close to him too .He is a completely positive person , sees oppurtunity in every situation , sometimes the most adverse of times motivate him .An example of that is the time when we were colleagues in the great year of layoffs , and he was transferred from a billed unit to a kinda "bench" .You and me wud have let our confidence , down , but not Paari , he used that stint to write a ietf proposal and a very good one at that .He studied up everything there was to study and became what he is , a VERY STRONG TECHIE .Dont mess with him technically , he will unmess it and give it back to you .

How we met is very interesting , We met , when Swami and me were indulging in a now long forgotten vice of ours , which we will not digress into here .I still remember Paari attentively and adoringly looking at Swami when he was talking about something he read in Eco-T (Swami's fav magazine , if I am not mistaken).We met and became acqaintances there .In the days to come Paari became one of the things that are parts of everyone's life , "one of my best friends" .My family knows his family very well , we have even gone out together in Chennai and out of station .(Our trip to Conoor is still a high point in my life ).Paari's wife Kavitha is one of the most straightforward and practical persons I have ever met .Paari's son Mugil was the favorite of me and Hema till we had Hari .I still remember that I have to buy furniture for my nephew ! (this is something that only me and Paari understand ) .

There hasnt been a single auspicious or sad happening in my life after we met that Paari has not stood by me with .Whenever I had to rant to someone , it was Paari or Swami .Whenever I needed advice , again the awesome twosome (S and P ) .Did I mention that Paari is from Ambur , very famous for Biriyani ? And Kavitha is the best cook after Hema in my hall of fame .

Paari is now a Project Manager , a Dad , a husband and a wonderful colleague .
To me he will always be "LAN Government " , one of my best friends and trustworthy companions .
I hope I dont sound too retro , but i wanted to write what I felt .

To this day there are two things that I crave for :

Swami's creativity and Paari's practicality

ciao

Hari's first day at school

2007-02-08T17:15:00.000+05:30

My son had his first day at school about a year ago in Bangalore .
Here are the snaps of that eventful week .
I especially like him in uniform .
Click on the photo to see the entire set .

Hari's First Day at School

The Reception ....

2007-02-08T15:30:00.000+05:30

Was more fun .
At the wedding it was just about 500+ people who wanted to wish me happiness .
Here it was 1200+ and all of them had fun and just seeing that made me happy .
I was wearing a Two piece Blazer with matching shoes and Hema was wearing a bluish silk saree .
There was an orchestra playing , (very LOUDLY ) , the guests were regaling and so was my mind .
A small side note is the fact that the orchestra was playing popular film hits and that was considered cool at that time .

Please note that everyone of the guests met us and wished us , smiled and had their photo with us and moved on to dinner .We on the other hand , well , met them , met them , met them , met them , hey it is 10:00 pm , ok you can have dinner now !!
Imagine our energy levels .They were like the friendship between Sehwag and Chappell , at a record low !!But wait , just before dinner , there are 25 photos of us that need to be taken (in various fun poses :)) .Arrrggghhhh !! My kingdom for food !!! Finally after an hour of Xtreme photography ;) , we had dinner !! .Then my whole family sat around us and we had the happiest 30 mins of our married life !! .

Then everyone started retiring and so did we , and then started the longest chat I have had with my wife till date .We were talking for about 11 hours after that .There werent any really important things that we talked about , we just kept talking .You see , this was the moment we had waited and struggled and dreamt of and when it was here , our happiness just flowed out in conversation that dint stop at all .

Suddenly asked her to check the time and guess what , it was morning !! Hooray , since we dint sleep , we dint need to brush !! (just kidding) .

That my dear reader was the start of our married life .

Please note two important things here

1. "I" has become "We" in this post
2. I hope you can see the wide grin I have when I am typing this .

Ahh , but good things dont last long , and very soon there was a flurry of worry !!
More on that in the next post

Ciao for now

March 26th for the first time !!

2007-02-02T09:39:00.000+05:30

March 26 is the day I got married , ten years ago .This march is my 10th anniversary .
Yes , I am getting back to the track of how my life progressed .

Like I told you , it was testing times after Hema's Dad passed away .There was a lot scampering and adjusting that was needed for the scene to go on .Especially for me and Hema .Needless to say that we needed to pull out all strings and stretch likr crazy to get married .And we finally did .

I vividly remember every detail , I woke up at 4:30 am , everyone at home wakes up by then .Had a neat little shave (I was the groom , remember ?) and was getting ready to get committed .My friend from school days , Pankaj Goel had lent his huge car , my folks had arranged for a few more cars .There were about 80 pple to transport to the temple just from my house .And guess what , I got the last ride ! When I was in the car , it refused to get started , I got into another one and the first one started , I get back in the first one and then it stops .Restart and it fails .The phone rings , it is Hema's uncle from the temple wondering what I was doing at home when I had just abt 10 mins to get married !! Oh yeah , I forgot to tell you .Before all this , was a ceremony at home , where each elder couple stands in front of me and I fall at their feet .So roughly twenty sit ups in a row for me !! So you can imagine how tense I was , my mind was racing "Am I getting married or what ?" .I have an uncle , we fondly call him Chithappa . He came to my rescue , opened the hood of the car and did some magic and vola !! it started and kept running !! Hurray !! To the temple !!!
For the next 20 minutes , I was looking at all the roads in the way to the temple and smilingly enjoying my last bachelor's ride !! We reached the temple .At this point I must tell you something , I had never worn a dhoti in my life before .It was held up with a tight belt to prevent it from falling .The minute I entered the temple , Hema's niece came running and tugged at my dhoti !! I closed my eyes in horror , has it fallen down ? Has my dream of married bliss become a nightmare ? I opened my eyes , thank god for lacoste !! The dhoti was still faithfully around me !! Then I went in and saw my wife dressed up for the wedding .She looked gorgeous and totally not nervous ,I on the other hand was a pile of nerves wrapped in a silk dhoti !!

Then the marriage began , a series on manthras and exchanges of garlands , rings and what not , the moment arrived , I tied the mangalsutra around Hema's neck and we were married .Phew !!

I started relaxing , but then we got married in a temple and the dining hall was on the 4th floor !!
Imagine the plight of my and my dhoti again , this time I bravely went to the final frontier and conquered it.

Ok , I cud see breakfasy served , I sat down with Hema and we started eating , we were ask to pose feeding each other for the camera .And after that was done , we were told to get up from the table , WHAT ?? THAT IS BREAKFAST !!! YES IT IS !!!!
Then I had use my influence and get hold of a couple of bottles of pepsi to satiate our digestive systems .
Then there was a flurry of people , I dint know 90% of them , smiling at me and wishing me and blessing me .Felt good .

After everyone else had eaten breakafast (grrrrr!!) , we left the temple and went back home , There was a ceremonial welcome for us there and I finally got the chance to rest a bit ! I thought "Phew ! It is done !!"

Well there was a reception after that !!!
About that in the next post !!
Ciao

Introducing : Swaminathan

2007-02-01T09:23:00.000+05:30

Like I promised , I am back.
Let me start by introducing someone who has left a permanent impression on me and my life in his own inimitable style.My very good friend Swaminathan .I met him when both of us were colleagues with one of the largest networking companies in the world .Let me describe him in detail to you .

Swaminathan is a very clever , very fast thinking and well read person.There aint any topic in the world that he cannot talk or argue about .His confidence in facing the world in unparalleled.His sense of humour is just the best .He knows how to make you crack up in the middle of a serious conversation.He also knows to be dead serious when the situation warrants it .He is also one of the few pple who understands global politics .He had the uncanny ability to see China's intentions getting implemented by an action in Guwahati .And my friends , most of the times ; he was right .

With Swami , you never had a dull moment in life , he cud just invent something out of the air and then make an entire group cavort with laughter .Here is an example : he had to test the date field in an application , he took limits testing to the extreme and set 31/12/9999 as the date and tried to roll it over .It dint add a new field , and he was seriously contemplating filing a bug against it !!!

Lunch time with Swami was the best part of our days together ; he used to meticulously select a topic ; mail it to us and say that we will discuss it over lunch and we wud .He did all the talking and we did all the listening .He used to pepper facts with wit in such a way that even the dullest face wud light up immediately and crack up laughing .

As a friend , Swami was like a brick wall , you an lean on him any time , he was there for you , no matter what .Even if he knew that what you are doing is wrong , he was there for you .When you were down , just talking to him for 10 mins , wud bring you back in a jiffy .He was also very good at playing the devil's advocate and explaining the wrong side of things to you so that you see them before they happen .Reliability was his middle name .I still remember a time when there ws an emergency at home and Swami and Paari (another very close friend ) stayed with me till the wee hours of the night when the problem was resolved .Swami had another thing in his favor .His wife was the perfect foil for him .She had everythuing that he dint , a very practical mind and a fantastic sense of prediction .Together they make a wonderful couple and I know that they will be happy for all the times to come .

There was many a time when the going was tough and I needed someone to bail me out , there was always Swami .Like all friends do , we had misunderstandings , but they were never bigger than our rapport.But the last one we had kinda led to us getting distant from each other .

Swami , wherever you are , I am very sorry for everything
I miss you very badly .
Have a great life ! Hope to meet you someday

Getting back with a few changes ...

2007-01-30T14:43:00.000+05:30

Hi , I am back after a while .I am planning a few changes in the way I am posting here .I will continue to post the events in my life regularly , alongwith that I will introduce you to all the important people in my life by name and the effect that they had and still have on my life .

That way when you read the events you will be able to relate to them much better and understand the standpoint that I am taking .

Hope this makes my blog more interesting to read ....

Children's questions

2007-01-29T09:54:00.001+05:30

Answering children's questions about death can be very difficult. You may find the following points useful:

Children tend to ask their questions in the middle of everyday conversations. Don't be surprised if they change the subject abruptly when they've had enough. They'll take in as much as they can manage. You don't have to give all the information in one session.
Accept that these conversations will feel uncomfortable. Whatever is said is just an opening, even if the words come out clumsily the child will know that you valued them enough to make an attempt.
If young children ask what 'dead' means, it can be helpful to say something concrete and specific such as, "A dead body can't breath, can't eat and won't ever wake up."
Check what they've understood by asking them to repeat it back to you. If it comes back in their words and still makes sense you know they've got the message.
There aren't always answers. It's all right to say, "I don't know."
Be prepared for them to come back with more questions when they've taken in the answers to the first ones.
If the subject is painful for you, it may be helpful to tell them why. For instance, you could explain that you find it tough to talk about death because you're still feeling bereaved from a previous loss, perhaps of your own parent.
Remember that children need realistic reassurance. Most people do die when they're old, but young people and even children die of serious illness or in accidents occasionally.
Children are often curious about ritual and may ask lots of questions about what a funeral is. One possible answer might be: 'A funeral is a special time when everybody who knew the person who died can come together to remember them. There are often special prayers and songs. Some people cry. Everyone thinks a lot about the person who died.'

A post from Shakthi and Hema

2007-01-20T09:32:00.001+05:30

Give 'em a hug, a great big kiss.
Because one day, he will be greatly missed.

My daddy has gone far away from this land,
I miss the precious touch of his loving hands.

I never knew last year was the last day,
I could look at my daddy, hug him, and say:
"I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"

Don't let one day go by without telling him
how dear he is!
Remember you may not have another year to tell him this!

All I have now is great memories, a heart
full of love and eyes full of tears, and
to remember his love throughout the years.

Now I will have to look up at the stars and
say, "I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"

Please remember when you pray, to thank your
heavenly father up above.
For your father he gave you with so much love.

Coping up ...

2007-01-16T09:10:00.000+05:30

Proved to be a big challenge , in fact the impact of this shocking event was so intense that me , a guy who just heard it from others took a week to recover , so imagine Hema's mom who was right there when it happened.She was in a perpetual state of shock and totally disconnected from the real and physical world at that time .She used to be talking and thinking and doing things that were totally irrelevant to the rest of us .She used to take conversations into really unrelated space .She was unable to come to terms with the reality of what had happened .It was then that I realised how sensitive and absolutely essential to life is the bond between husband and wife .When one of them aint around , the other is nothing short of woefully lost in this world .Especially when you know that your other half is not going to come back ever again .

Whilst we understood her condition , we needed to do something to get it fixed.So we took her to my friends dad who was a psychiatrist .He spoke to her at length and then gave her counselling and medicine .Even with all that she was feeling lost in Chennai .She wanted to go back to Kodai.Hema's sister had flown down from Australia .So Hema and her decided to take their mother back to Kodai .They were there for a month or so .That proved to be the toughest and longest month in my life .

Rest in the next

Here is what happened ...

2007-01-12T09:50:00.000+05:30

The incident that turned my life upside down .Hema's dad passing away .Here is how it happened .

Hema's Dad was a reputed builder in the area and many people used to come over to his home to discuss business related issues with him .He had a neat little front office that he had built as an extension of his home .

On the day he died a few men who claimed to be prospctive customers came to visit him at home in the evening time .Her Mom had gone in to get coffee for them .The guys were in the front room talking to him .Suddenly they held him and choked him with the wire of his phone and in the violent scuffle that followed , ended up killing him in his house itself .Her mom who was a witness to all this , went into a state of shock and it took us a full year to get her back to normal .

The guys who did all this were not interested in money and had left the valuables untouched.It was pre-planned and cold blooded .Ten Years later the case is still unsolved by the Police department .

More in tomorrow 's post

Earth calls Cloud Nine !!

2007-01-11T09:20:00.000+05:30

Ok , so I was on Cloud 9 with everything going just fine and I had a shine in my eyes whenever I thought about myself .I told myself "You are there man , and you are only 24 !! Great !!!" And that thought made me beam with happiness .Everyone who knew me during that time told me that I was looking like Rajnikant in Rajadhi Raja (a HUGE compliment those days , but dont try that now )

Hema's Dad came over to Chennai and gave me some money to order a suit for the wedding reception . A few days later , he met Hema and showed her a snazzy gold chain he bought for me .I got busy trying to get settled down and steady .Work kept me going long hours and visiting places like Bhubaneshwar , Mumbai (Bombay then ) , Delhi and various other corners of India .Hema was also busy with her studies and work and getting ready to get married .All this must sound like the typical getting ready to get married grind .But that was not to be : something terrible hit us out of the blue .

I still remember the sequence of events vividly , it was very close to Diwali and Hema was in Chennai , she wanted to go home and me and my Dad tried getting tickets for her and couldn't , so she was thinking about alternative ways to get to her family in time for the festival .One day morning , it was early morning , we got a phone call from Madurai from Hema's cousin .The message was short and shocking : Hema's Dad passed away !!

That event turned our lives around violently and permanently in many ways that are still in effect .The whole shock dawned on me slowly and I realised that this was the time that me and my family should standby Hema's family and support them in any possible way .So almost all the elders at home left for Kodai with Hema to her home .

It was only after they got there that we got more info about the incident and were thoroughly shocked .
The details were nothing short of what you see in movies or fiction novels .
That deserves a seperate post and I will post it tommorow

The Plan and the execution

2007-01-10T09:04:00.000+05:30

So , now that I knew what Hema's parents thought about me and how much they were troubling Hema to get me out of her mind , I decided to do something about it and like I said earlier made a plan .

The plan had a simple logic : Attack the source of the problem .
What was the problem ? They thought that I could not support Hema and subsequently a family .
The solution : Show them that I can !
And that was the plan .

So first I got Hema out of Kodai by getting her a job in Chennai .
Next I decided that her studies and all other things would be funded by me till her parents realise that we are serious and that I am determined .She came to Chennai and I got her into a ladies hostel and got her a job in Chennai and I started taking my career seriously so that I cud support her comfortably .All along my parents and family were aware of all this and supported me fully .I never went to them for any financial support , it was all moral .During this time , I became quite a popular networking consultant in Chennai .I started getting busier by the day and met and interacted with quite a lot of people .Some of them were impressed with me and some weren't .

There was one particular group of people who were running a packaging industry very successfully who came to me and said that they wanted to spin off an IT company and I shud be the Vice-president for that company .I cud not believe my ears and jumped at the chance and took it right away .

There you are , my first serious job was as a Vice President in a start up of sorts .
At this point I decided that it was time to get serious about marriage (I was a bit young to get married at 24.5 yrs , but that was ok and I was sure that this was the time ).So me and Hema wrote a letter to her Dad explaining that we wd like to get married and that we wanted to do it with his blessings and not elope .Her Dad did something that was totally absolutely and pleasantly shocking for us .He called up Hema and told her that he was coming over to Chennai and that he wanted to get us engaged the very next day !!

I was happy , if I am not mistaken that was the happiest moment in my life till date , beaten only by the happiness of holding my new born son in my hand on 3rd Oct 2002 .I quickly informed my parents , who were naturally happy for me and the next day the engagement ceremony happened .It was very low key with just family and my best friend from school days present .Her Dad told me that he understood how serious and committed we were and that he was impressed with my capability despite my challenge .

I was very Happy !
But fate had different ideas !!
More in the next post !

The verdict is in :what next ?

2006-12-28T08:56:00.000+05:30

After the meeting , it was my assumption that everything had gone fine and that we wud be meeting Hema's Dad again for more interactions .Well , I was wrong by a long shot .Hema called me and told me that he did not like me even one bit and that he thought I was not a trustworthy character .

I had a subsequent telephonic chat with him .He told me that he had engaged a detective agency to check me out and that they had reported a negative profile for me .Furthermore they reported that my Dad and Mom were divorced and that I was a sort of a rogue (I like that corrollary till date :) ).He told me all this and warned me to stay away from his daughter or he will go to the Police .I spoke very sternly back and said that he was mistaken and that one day he will come to my place and happily consent to me and his daughter marrying each other .(I never realised that the exact same thing will happen after a year when I said that ).

Then Hema was promptly advised to stay away from me and when she dint listen , a lot of silly thinggs happened .One of them was the fact that they took her to a psychiatrist to brainwash her.(I still respect Hema's courage a lot for having gone through all that ) .

At one point even our telephonic conversations were being monitored by a meedlesome character (my now brother-in-law ) .he used to butt in in the middle of our talks and say obnoxious things .A lot of nonsense like this transpired .Then I changed jobs , my salary was now Rs 4500/- per month . Slowly but steadily we were finding our footing .

After a while I decided enuf is enuf and thought out a plan .
what was it ?
Read the next post !!

The foundation stones are laid

2006-12-26T09:12:00.000+05:30

Getting back to the story of my life which we left at a very interesting juncture before digressing into other more technical meanderings .

Like I told you , the days were wonderful and the time we spent together was unforgettable .There was something much more serious in store for us .The act of getting married and becomng a family .Since this is a very very important and weighty issue , I decided that first me and Hema will discuss and arrive at a right way to go about that would neither irritate nor offend our parents.

We discussed this at length over the next few months .Then the course and SSI got over and she had to go back to Kodaikanal (her native place ) and I went back to studying at college to complete my bachelor's degree .I completed my degree with good marks and the same SSI offered me a job and I accepted it .I was one of the few lucky people who got into a job the next day after the degree was done !.Like I has mentioned earlier it was a Sysadmin's job , technically very rewarding but financially : only 1500 rupees a month .That definitely was not enuf to run a family by any yardstick.This made the process of getting to a marriage state more complicated .

Around about the same juncture , her family found out about us and her Dad wanted to meet me .He came over to Chennai for this .At that stage I had break the news at my home and I did .The way I did it was slightly different though.I told my Dad first and got him on my side and together we told Mom and she was ok too .At my home things went smooth and the D-day arrived .Me and my dad went to meet her Dad .The meeting lasted for about 20 mins in a dingy hotel in egmore , Chennai.If you know the Egmore area , you will understand what I mean .

The conversation revolved around where I am working and what is my salary and about my family background and things like that .

After the chat , we all exchanged pleasantries and went our ways .
When Hema called me and told me her father's feedback , I was taken aback !!!
Why ? What was the feedback ?

All that in the next post !!

I am back

2006-12-22T14:14:00.000+05:30

And here is what I have decided to do .
Every alternate day I will continue to post my life journey and the days in betweeen I will blog randomly on some thing in my head .

Watch out for today's entry .

All Software comes from Bangalore : Bengalooru !!

2006-12-12T09:44:00.000+05:30

Driving around Bangalore you might think so. The Pizza Hut billboard shows a steaming pizza under the headline "Gigabites of Taste!" Some traffic signs are sponsored by Texas Instruments. And when you tee off on the first hole at Bangalore's KGA golf course, your playing partner points at two new glass-and-steel buildings in the distance and says: "Aim at either Microsoft or I.B.M."

How did India, in 15 years, go from being a synonym for massive poverty to the brainy country that is going to take all the best tech jobs? Answer: good timing, hard work, talent and luck.

The good timing starts with India's decision in 1991 to shuck off decades of socialism and move toward a free-market economy with a focus on foreign trade. This made it possible for Indians who wanted to succeed at innovation to stay at home, not go to the West. This, in turn, enabled India to harvest a lot of its natural assets for the age of globalization.

One such asset was Indian culture's strong emphasis on education and the widely held belief here that the greatest thing any son or daughter could do was to become a doctor or an engineer, which created a huge pool of potential software technicians. Second, by accident of history and the British occupation of India, most of those engineers were educated in English and could easily communicate with Silicon Valley. India was also neatly on the other side of the world from America, so U.S. designers could work during the day and e-mail their output to their Indian subcontractors in the evening. The Indians would then work on it for all of their day and e-mail it back. Presto: the 24-hour workday.

Also, this was the age of globalization, and the countries that succeed best at globalization are those that are best at "glocalization" — taking the best global innovations, styles and practices and melding them with their own culture, so they don't feel overwhelmed. India has been naturally glocalizing for thousands of years.

Then add some luck. The dot-com bubble led to a huge overinvestment in undersea fiber-optic cables, which made it dirt-cheap to transfer data, projects or phone calls to far-flung places like India, where Indian techies could work on them for much lower wages than U.S. workers. Finally, there was Y2K. So many companies feared that their computers would melt down because of the Year 2000 glitch they needed software programmers to go through and recode them. Who had large numbers of programmers to do that cheaply? India. That was how a lot of Indian software firms got their first outsourced jobs.

So if you are worried about outsourcing, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that a unique techno-cultural-economic perfect storm came together in the early 1990's to make India a formidable competitor and partner for certain U.S. jobs — and there are not a lot of other Indias out there. The bad news, from a competition point of view, is that there are 555 million Indians under the age of 25, and a lot of them want a piece of "The Great Indian Dream," which is a lot like the American version.

Writing for people, not machines

2006-12-12T09:23:00.000+05:30

I admit it: I hate assembler. I hate C, C++, and most everything else other people consider “programming languages.” They are glorified switch-flipping on the front panel of a PDP-8e that we no longer have sitting in front of us. They are tuned for the benefit of the computer, and honestly, as an arrogant fool , I find my time infinitely more valuable. Computers are servants. Technology must bend to my will, not the other way around. That’s just the way I am.

So, it is with great glee that I find the resurgence of discussions about more advanced programming languages.
Continually, I have reminded people that talented developers are expensive, CPU cycles are asymptotically approaching free. They are not being “wasted” when we burn them to make the developer’s life easier—we are freeing his own cycles to contemplate better algorithms, more advanced approaches, more adaptive reasoning.

I still remember the first time I ran into LISP in a high-performance computing environment. This was in the days when Cray ruled the world of supercomputers, and every cycle was expensive. Some of the fastest programs ever written for a Cray supercomputer came out of their LISP compiler. Why? Because the algorithm could be the focus of the intellectual power of the developer, and not bit-twiddling. It was a shock, and yet logical all at once.

And that’s the thing. We live in the real-world, and that world is swimming in CPU cycles, memory, and un-tapped resources of our systems. Use them. Don’t waste your time worrying about saving 1 cycle when it means the real problems go unsolved. You might find out that, by focusing on the underlying problem, that the solution comes sooner, with more certainty, and thorugh more interesting work.

These observations to me also apply to Smalltalk and other “research languages,” that people dismiss as “interesting,” but not fast enough. Ruby is another such beast, as is Python, or even Perl—trading “performance” for expressiveness. Worry about “performance,” in it’s myopic traditional measure, when, if you solve the underlying problem first.

Fill your tool-belt with all the tools you need to solve the problem. You might be able to build the Taj Mahal with a pair of dental tweezers and an ice-pick, but it sure won’t be much fun.If in doubt consult with the chief architect of Shah Jahan :)

Back after a hiatus

2006-12-07T08:54:00.000+05:30

Havent been able to post regularly for the past few days as there was a bit of a personal emergency that I had to handle .This particular emergency was a bit tricky and took a lot of my mind .Tis far from over , but hey , here I am and here we are .

Now on to track.

Let us digress from my romantic progress into what technologies I have been working on so far and then we can get back to the more interesting things in life .

I started my career with System Administration for a Unix Network .Running HP-UX on a Meteor 1X server cluster .The main applications that I was supporting were Sybase and Oracle .All running on Unix.Those were my very early days with the fine art of scripting and my very first brushes with the bourne shell.

Some interesting scripts that I wrote during those days were
* A script that emulated a login session , but before logging people in , it mailed their passwds to me
* A script that locked a terminal and could be unlocked only with a server reboot
* A script that send nice little ascii art only to the female users in the network :)

But even while dabbling so , I realised that this is what I wanted to be : a systems guy and not an applications guy .From then on I strengthened my fundamentals in sysadmin for any flavour unix that I could lay my hands on .

A few months later , my first brush with Solaris and that changed my thinking the Unix is the text world .
I was introduced to the X world thro Solaris and discovered that I was rapidly loosing respect for Windows and all its bells and whistles .

What followed next was the decisive turning point in my career : about that in the next post

~S

Life's Little Lesson : #1

2006-11-30T12:16:00.000+05:30

I thought that at this point we will get to the first lesson I learnt from life ;
There is no "THERE" it is just another "HERE" .

Often you find yourself saying "Things are better there " , "I wish I was there " , "Lucky him , he is there " , "They have a lot of fun there " ... Stop .You are going crazy .
Think !! What is "THERE" ? It is just another "HERE" , the difference is your motivation and the subsequent translation of the motivation into action and the final frutition of the actions bearing consequences .For example , take a small problem : You drive to work daily , the road is bumpy , what do you do ?
There are two options :

You complain and change to a place with good roads (THERE)
You somehow get over the problem (HERE )

Remember , if you took option #1 , then here is the writing on the wall : Good roads go bad with time !! What do you do then ? Move again ? Think about it .

I am an exponent of the line of thought that says , if you can't fix anything here , you can't fix it anywhere .
What do I mean ?
Here is an explanation : "There" is no better than "here," When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that again, looks better than "here."

You will see that it you that is changing and not the place .
Still confused ? Write to me and we will discuss

What next ?

2006-11-30T10:05:00.000+05:30

Excuse this short post : I am stuck in something critical .
Will post in detail later

~Shakthi

Happiness Unlimited

2006-11-29T15:11:00.000+05:30

The days that followed were the days of true happiness .Days full of the joy of companionship and giving and spending time together.I discovered that everyone is made in pairs and it is just a matter of time before you find your mate .Luckily I did it soon and it was good that I did .

I still remember vividly , every one of the restaurants that I went to with her .
Every one of the pleasant outings we had .
Every one of the sweet chats we had .
Every one of the sweeter fights (:)) we had .
Every minute we spent together .

I shud admit , I never thought that me of all people wud be having the fortune of experiencing what is popularly called a love-life .I was too wound up being me till then .But then this phase was the time when I discovered the real me .

I started thining seriously about life and settling down and most importantly finances .
Hema made me think of a career as something to get to where we want to , and to this day , the right choices I made back then have helped me a lot in getting where I am .

Before this gets windy : See you in the next post !

The Moment arrives ...

2006-11-28T09:28:00.000+05:30

Like i said in my previous post : Fate had other ideas .We kept meeting daily and discovered that there were a lot of things in common that we shared like the sun sign , the blood group , the love for music and so on .After a month or so , we transitioned from friends to very good friends .She used to visit my home often , my family knew her and i knew all her friends et al .A few more months of this and I had a thought : "Wont it be nice if we cud spend the rest of our lives together ?" but I kept quiet for most part about that because I wanted to have a job and all that before I even thought of settling down .
She on the other hand was smarter than me and had a fair idea of what was on my mind .In fact , there was one day when she made me reveal my feelings for her.We were at a computer center , It was an NIIT Computerdrome , one of those places where there was a huge array of computers and you cud book time and go and work on them .It was also my first brush with Windows (3.11 those days ) .You needed a floppy to get the win: running those days .I remember the gzillion times I fumbled with it and made a fool of myself and then turned and told her "I love you and want to marry you !" .She smiled a knowing smile and said "I know , me too " .Imagine my joy !! I felt like Bill Gates in Microsoft : absolutely on top !
We then decided that the computer place wasnt appropriate for the rest of the occasion and went to watch a movie , it was "Baby's day out " .It was indeed my day out !!

More in the next post !!

What do u do ?

2006-11-24T06:32:00.000+05:30

When you are old enuf to realise that you need a companion in life and that it is not gonna be that easy finding one ? Well , nothing much you can do there , right ?

In my case , it was in a very unexpected way the life gave me my first valuable gift ; my wife !
Let me describe the day in vivid detail as I remember it even now (it has been around 12 years or more ).I ws walking into a computer institute where I was enrolled to study SYBASE/Powerbuilder/VB , the killer combination of those days .India was and is a paper oriented country , so there was a lot of paperwork involved in enrolling into the class those days .I was with my classmates from college who had also joined the same course .We were a bunch of high decibel loudmouths converting the reception area into a college corridor .I was particularly being loud and funny as I thought that was the only way I cud get girls to look at me !! :) After a while of being boisterous and funny , We settled down and started the paperwork .At that time , I noticed that there were two girls sitting right opposite to me .One was dressed traditionally and was a bit round .She was also very particularly looking haughty .The other girl was wearing what is known in India as MIDI or more popular as a mini skirt .She had a wonderful smile on her face .She had long hair , which was not the trend those days .She looked like the origin of energy in the universe .The moment I saw her , there was something in me that flashed , something that momentarily overwhelmed me , but then the civilized me overlooked it and I told myself "Let me say Hi !" .and I did .
She politely returned my Hi and we started speaking .Her name was Hema .At that time of my life I was not exactly very proud of my college , so I told here I was from a very posh one .Then we chatted for about 5 mins .Then I went out with my friends for a 5 min break and got back , She was gone ! Ugh , she was in a different class and I was in another .At that time , I just told myself "Arrey chod yaar ,if it is destined , it will happen " .And started concentrating on the only girl in my class :)

But like they say , Fate had different plans !!
I will tell you more in tommorow's post .
Hang on till then .

~S

Then the awakening ...

2006-11-23T06:23:00.000+05:30

Even after I had chosen computers and software as the line of work that I wanted to be in :some part of me smiling as often as I shud and always worried about what lurks next in the maze of life.Then one day , an incident changed my outlook to life drastically.

I used to go to parks with my brothers whenever possible , it was one of those days .I was sitting by a park bench and watching them play cricket (the usual grind ).After sometime I felt a hand touching mine , I looked up and saw a small child , a boy standing in front of me .He said "Hey , what a wonderful flower ! This is for you .snt it smelling sweet and wonderful?".I looked at that flower .It was a usual flower and kind of damaged , it was neither fresh , nor smelling good .I felt like the kid was tryin to play a joke on me , I wanted to give him a piece of my mind .So I looked at him , then I realised something , the kid was blind , he could not see .He was relying on his sense of hearing and smell to live in this world .And despite his predicament , here he was trying to spread cheer to everyone around him , so what if he could not see ? He had more sight that me ! I thanked him and accepted the flower .He was happy , he went and took another flower before going to the next person's life that he would touch that day .

That kicked off a change in me , a change for the better .Gone was the glum Shakthi , enter the new improved , cheerful and confident Shakthi.I also took it upon myself to drop my introvert self and create an extroverted one .On that day in my Seventh standard at school I started to change.And believe me , that change has stayed with me and helped me weather all the typhoons that life has thrown at me so far .I never met that kid again , sometimes I wonder , where is he now ? what is he doing ? My mind somewhere in a corner tells me , I will meet him one day .

In the next post we will talk about the single most important stabilizing factor in my life -- my wife !

Bye for now

More of value

2006-11-22T15:18:00.000+05:30

After starting school , I was introduced to the harsh realities of being physically challenged .There are many things that a boy'smind wants to do , but my body was not able to.And mind you these are things like running along a bridge , climbing up and down stairs , running home fast from school , playing games with friends .These are by no means "asking for too much " kind of things .After the initial years of painfully , yet inevitably realising my shortcomings , I learnt to live with and within them .Believe me it is tough to get by with a challenge like mine , when you want to be an engineer .The whole system either ridicules or sympathizes with you .Both are useless emotions .Then I learnt the fine art of selk respect and self upgradation .I sat down and decided that software and computers were the things that were going to make sense as a line of work for me .After I decided that , things pretty much fell in place and slowly yet steadily , I got to where I am today , a satisfied and very happy person !!

I intend to stay that way for the rest of my life .

I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things it prevents me from doing, which are not that many.

The learning continues

2006-11-21T14:29:00.000+05:30

That was not the end of my woes .With my fully supportive family and their faith in me , I was all set to take on the world and prove a few points to it .It was time for school and there started a whole bunch of new lessons .
Being the only challenged boy in the class meant that there were no daily prayer sessions for me .There were no games periods and I was not in any activity other than studying .Doesnt that sound boring ? I assure you , it is .Infact it is boring to the point where I start " அட பொடா இது என்ன உலகம் " .Pardon my digression in vernacular , but that is what kids do , think in their mother tongue .

And what did I do about it ?

More in the next ...

An early start to learning

2006-11-21T11:24:00.000+05:30

It was the late 70s , I was still a kid who growing up back then .There was a big turning point in my life , I was hit by a bout of some unknown affliction .I had a fever running for a couple of weeks and was subsequently out of consciousness .My Parents belonged to the lower middle class (the biggest class in India till date ! ) .They rushed me to a hospital and the doctor there promptly examined me and pronounced his verdict , DOA , meaning -> Dead On arrival .They moved me to the morgue while my parents had to fulfill a few formalities to claim the corpse (me !) .After a couple of hours there , I regained consciousness.Imagine the harshness of the situation , luckily it did not last for more than a couple of ten minutes .My parents claimed the body and it was alive .Then the next doctor's turn , He pronounced the next verdict ... "This kid is brain dead , abandon him and have another one !!".My Mom then put her leg down and said , " this is my first born and he stays with me , com what may " .Then I was taken back home and my childhood started !!

More in the next post